Horrific Nursery Rhymes

There comes a time in every parent's life when they feel this pressure to sing their children nursery rhymes. We are literally the only source of entertainment for our children and we are solely responsible for their development. So, the pressure is ON folks.

When they stare straight at us, it just gets too quiet. You start to perspire and worry that your child will not learn if you don't starting singing. Now.

So, I tried to find good-feeling sing a longs that can bring value to my child. I knew that I would come across some nursery rhymes that have those really freaky historical origins like "Ring Around the Rosy" and the plague. What I didn't realize is practically all of the freaking songs are bad.

We all know Jack and Jill. I never understood the point of the song. Why would my kid care if Jack falls down and breaks his crown? It's kind of depressing.  Then I found out that it's about King Louis  Number whatever, and Queen Marie Antoinette.  The guy didn't just lose his crown, he was beheaded. So was the chick. Jesus.

Then there was Humpty Dumpty which was actually a cannon used in a civil war, and don't get me started on three blind mice. Even if you did not know the origin of three blind mice, why would you want to sing to your kid "they all ran after the farmer's wife, who cut off their tails with a carving knife." I can just picture myself almost bursting into tears as I try to read that to my kid.

I think I might just stick to Dr. Seuss. Not sure how I will break it down to Hasouni when we read "Green Eggs and Ham" that we actually can't eat ham, even though the entire story is about encouraging the character to eat it. Maybe I'll just skip that one. WOW, this is going to be harder than I thought.

Xoxo,

Oum Hassan.

PS:

Sorry about taking so long this time. I just found out that Hasouni is allergic to a lotttt of things which was causing him eczema. Ever since I stopped having dairy products in my diet, such as milk, eggs, yoghurt, etc... his eczema has improved, alhamdouAllah. So, if your child is suffering from eczema, I'd recommend getting an allergy test done for him. I also found out he is allergic to peanuts, so I have been clearing the house to make it a nut-free environment. However, his parents are still pretty nutty themselves*! Or as we arabs say, akhbal. Sorry Hasouni, can't do anything about that ;)




*Sorry, I try not to use cliches on my blog, but I couldn't help myself.

How I told Amar I was pregnant

I always thought that the way I would tell my husband that I was pregnant would be in this big romantic and profound gesture. Maybe have a little gift at home wrapped in beautiful paper with a big bow and when he opens it, he sees tiny little shoes. Or, I sit him down at a candle lit dinner and tell him very gentle that he is going to be a father.

For those that know me, you know that just when there is an opportunity to have a great moment, I mess everything up and things get awkward real fast.

I am a very impatient person. I can't WAIT and plan things. If I planned something special for Amar, I burst and tell him as soon as I think of it. So, already there is no chance for dinner to be made. There is no chance for a thoughtful gesture. I'm just too impatient and well, crazy.

I was visiting my family in Canada when I found out. I told my sister in law that I think I might be pregnant and she offered to take me to the pharmacy and pick up a pregnant test. I felt like such a grown up.  I didn't tell Amar what I was doing because I thought I was just going through my overly dramatic phase. When the test came out positive, I was still not convinced. I tried to remember the episode where Rachel found out she was pregnant and whether or not there was such thing as a false-positive or if the error only happens the other way around.  So, I casually showed my sister in law, expecting her to tell me that it might be false but she let out a huge gasp, bursted into tears and started crying. Immediately. I froze and just stared at her. I knew Amar  was downstairs and I thought, this is it! This is the moment when the wife tells her husband she's pregnant!! I thought, how meaningful. How exciting. I am going to go through another milestone in my life. I felt so blessed. He is in the living room and that is the same place where he proposed to me. Excellent. But... I also didn't want to give him false hope. So, here is how it went:

Me: Amouri, I want to tell you something but I am not sure.
Amar: What?
I bust out " I THINK I'M PREGNANT BUT I'M NOT SURE SO DON'T GET  TOO EXCITED BECAUSE THE TEST MIGHT BE WRONG"

That's how I did it.  I didn't say, habiby I'm pregnant, gently. I didn't tell Amar very sweetly that he is going to be a father. I told him that I think I am pregnant, but doubtful, so don't get to happy - and  I didn't even bother explaining that I took a pregnancy test.

Amar: What?
Me: I thought you would be excited!!!!
Amar: I don't understand, what's going on?
Me: I MIGHT BE. GOD, Amar is this how you react?? You can't even be happy!?!?

And I storm upstairs.

Amar thought I was just going through my paranoia stage. I am not that paranoid. I just assume things that others have as well. Like when you think you felt a bump in your armpit and you immediately assumed the worse, but it turned out to be an ingrown hair (my nurse couldn't stop laughing at that). Or, when you thought that you saw a red back spider but it turned out to be a beetle (Amar actually got really pissed off at me for that).

Anyway, AlhamdouAllah, things turned out great afterwards. We decided to go to my parents house right at that moment to tell them even though it was midnight. When we got to the house, my sister and my mom were in the bedroom and I went in to tell them. My mom was shocked (refer to my first post of how people reacted when I told them I was going to be a mom). When they came out to congratulate Amar, he looked at me and said "You told them already???" I completely forgot that he probably wanted us to tell them together.

And that's how its done.