Real Conversations.

Why do I do this?

Mother in law: You can give your son grapes now

Me: Oh, that's a great idea. 

MiL: But you will have to peel the grape, take the seeds out and give him little pieces at a time.

Me: Oh. Yeah, I'll probably just stick to other fruits...

MiL: Haaa??? But grapes have a lot of antioxidants that would be really good for Hasouni

Me: Aaugh ya but Goddd the whole peeling...and the time...

Husband: You should really keep some of your thoughts to yourself.

Ah, I really didn't want to crush her hopes and dreams but someone had to

A mom pushing her newborn in a pram around my neighbourhood:
Hi! How old you is your son?

Me: 4 months

Mom: Does he still wake you up at night?!

Me: Yeah..sorry!

Her face drops and walks away

WHAT?

A new mommy feeding her newborn in the mall's parents room: Hi! How old is your son?

Me: 6 months

Mom: Do you still give him milk?

Me: Do you mean breast milk or formula?

Mom: Any

Me: Yes, of course I still give him milk?

Mom: Oh, I thought they only get water after 6 months

I just don't understand 

Doctor: Since Hasan is allergic to milk, you cannot have any products that contain whole milk either.
Me: What about chocolate
Doctor: You can't have chocolate
Me: But what about dairy milk chocolate
Doctor: No, you can't have that
Me: But it's chocolate. It's not a glass of milk
Doctor: It has milk in it. You can't have chocolate
Me: What about cake?

Well, that could have gone better....

Me: I'm pregnant!!!
Friend: Omg! Congrats! Are you going to be one of those mom's that's all about her baby?
Me: Um...


Nothing better than hearing the two words: baby sitter.

Amar, Hasouni andI were walking across an intersection when a couple passed by us looking very nice, dressed up for the night. They were practically skipping, when the girl shouted to us:
WE GOT A BABY SITTER!!!!!!
I cheered her on, heart full of content.

It's just mommy politics

Friend: God, I wish people would just stop giving me advice. Like the other day, bub didn't have socks on because it was really hot. I didn't think she needed any but these people they just kept telling me to put socks on her. But, like, I know what I am doing. If I tell you that I don't think my kid needs socks, they should just drop it. You know?

Me: Yeah, it's annoying when people push their advice
Friend: ....yeah...but okay, listen. She did end up getting a cold at night. But that's not the point!

The letter we should all get.

To my dear pregnant friend,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I know that you have been trying to get pregnant and I am so happy that it happened for you. You are going to be a great mother.

I heard that you have not been feeling very well and it seems like a distant memory when you had that rush of happiness from seeing the two line strips on your pregnancy test. I heard that you are feeling nauseated and weak.  So here is my little advice to you:

Please do not be so hard on yourself and ask for help. There is nothing you can do about the nausea. Yes, you can take nausea pills but they will probably just make you drowsy, and you can only drink so much fuzzy drinks before the sugar rush becomes a bit too much. Take this time to tell your loved ones that the smell of raw chicken is too much for you so you can't cook and ask for help. Little things such as a friend bringing you a hot meal will make a world of difference. Tell yourself that for the next 4 months, you are going to be weak and that's OK. One day, you will wake up and you will feel a hundred times better and you will be able resume back to your normal routine. 

I hate seeing women being so hard on themselves because they become weak. It is not a weakness! You have a human growing inside you that needs your energy to survive. Sacrifice your power for their heart to continue to beat, for their bones to become stronger, and for their eyes to learn how to blink. 

Don't be so hard on your weight gain. Yes, some women gain more weight than they need to for pregnancy but you have all the time in the world to bring your body to its normal weight gain. No, you are not going to look like a glowing pregnant women from the movies.  We all learned now that that was a complete lie. You will also not look like your college years with the perfect hair, high heels and size 4 dress. So, just let it go and focus on you and your baby's health. If you are concerned about what you are eating (because let's face it, sometimes the junk food is the only thing we seem to digest in the beginning), express your  concern to your doctor. Nothing beats that relief when your doctor tells you "that's okay. That's normal." It is also a relief to let your doctor know early on, in case you can hurt yourself. You will all of the sudden have this sense of power to change your eating habits for the good. I promise. I also promise that you are beautiful.

When the time comes to go to the hospital, take a deep breath. If you are doing a natural birth, God bless you.  If you are going to take the epidural,  God bless you. If you are going to do a c-section, God bless you. 

When you see your baby, you will want to go through this all over again. 

and it will be worth it; a thousand times over.

Love,

Mariam